After four and a half hours in the office, I am reminded as to why I was put on disability in the first place.
I feel so shitty that I\’m not even suicidal because part of me is convinced that my body is dying at this moment anyway, and it won\’t be long until it\’s all over. But the rest of me knows that isn\’t so, that this is just an FMS flare up caused by trying to be \’normal,\’ and that terrifies me. Because if I feel like this now, and I\’m not dying, then how painful are the death throes going to be for me? How painful are X things for people with FMS in relation to other people?
Fuck this. Fuck it all. Fuck, fuck, fuck.