An e-mail from my landlord:
Cassandra–As of today, I have not heard from HOC regarding the
outstanding rent. Excluding late charges, $3,198 is outstanding, I
intend to intiate collection proceedings and to regain possession of
the apartment unless this matter is promptly addressed.
P.S. To landlord: if you want to seem intimidating, learn to spell or get a spell-checker. Otherwise, while you are indeed stressing me out, it isn\’t because I\’m in the wrong — it\’s because you\’re harassing me. And I have a very low tolerance level for poor grammar, silly spelling errors in a formal setting, and fuckwits in general.
…
In other news, my daffy dog turns a year old at some point this month. To celebrate his birthday, on Saturday night he thought it was a great idea to jump off my grandfather\’s elevated porch. He free fell five feet to the grass below, took a few seconds to figure out what had happened to him, and started howling. His walk was all discombobulated, so we had to take him to the emergency veterinarian. $240 for X-rays, sedatives, and anti-inflammatories. The poor dingy bruised the hell out of his hind legs; he\’s still limping a bit on one of them, but he\’s basically fine, which is good.
No one in this family is allowed to have any more accidents or health issues until after Taint on Thursday night, because Mama Cass and Daddy Matt are now broke, broke, broke. This is what happens when I don\’t work for three weeks, apparently. Go figure.
