On Wednesday, December 4th, I had what turned into a 75 minute appointment with my urogynecologist. This past April I had “only” a rectocele, which is the anus pushing into the vagina. Now I also have a cystocele, which is the bladder pushing into the vagina. Plus, my vaginal vault is starting to collapse. Additionally, I have to have a cystoscopy with biopsy in an attempt at a differential diagnosis for interstitial cystitis, as my urogynecologist suspects I have that, too.

My doctor is sending me to see a specialty urogynecologist who is highly Ehlers-Danlos-informed. I found one of his locations accepts my Medicaid MCO, so I managed to get an appointment for January 6th. Unless he has another idea/preferred method of action, then my doctor is going to go ahead with pelvic organ prolapse surgery. 

The surgery would be a combination of three things: an apical suspension (most likely a sacrospinous ligament suspension), an anterior vaginal prolapse repair, and a posterior vaginal prolapse repair. Due to Ehlers-Danlos, I can’t use mesh and grafts from my own body don’t hold up, so they will have to use cadaver grafts again (I already have one in my left hip). None of this can be done via laparoscopy; they will have to cut into my vagina again — this time in four places instead of the one place needed when I had my hysterectomy in February of 2018. Forgive my deadpan, but I am 100% eager to have yet more scar tissue in my vagina that makes penetration incredibly painful.

Surgical recovery time varies. I would have a hospital stay of 1-3 days, a catheter for at least a week, limited physical activity for six weeks depending upon my healing status, and no sexual activity (avoiding arousal because of contracting muscles) for 6+ weeks.

I can have the pelvic organ prolapse surgery, but because of the Ehlers-Danlos it will fail in a few years and I’ll need to have it again. With each surgery, I’ll develop additional scar tissue until they won’t be able to do surgery anymore. So, my doctor asked me how important vaginal penetration is to me. There’s a surgery called the obliterative procedure where the vaginal walls are sewn together completely. It would solve all three prolapse issues and it has a high success rate. I wouldn’t have to undergo the surgery again.

From The Personal to The Political: A Thought Process Regarding Worsening Disability And Activism

  1. A Medical Appointment (CN: Mentions of anatomy, medical conditions of sexual and pelvic organs, and medical procedures. No descriptions or details.)
  2. TMI: Sex (CN: Sex, anatomy, gender, psychology. Mentions of sexual trauma without descriptions or details.)
  3. Causation (CN: Mentions of anatomy, medical conditions of sexual organs, medical procedures, and medical trauma/neglect. No descriptions or details.)
    1. 2002: Pelvic pain origins
    2. 2011: Diagnosis and treatment of original injury
    3. 2013: Continued treatment
    4. 2018: Hysterectomy
    5. 2019: Diagnoses related to pelvic pain
  4. Feelings
  5. Developmental Years & Privilege
  6. Trying
    1. The Disability and Sexuality Access Network
    2. We Need Some Fucking Help, Desperately
  7. Asking for Help is Really Damn Complicated
    1. Labor and money are both forms of capital and we’re short on both
    2. Disposability politics
    3. Oppression olympics and privilege
    4. “Capability”
    5. Access as a privilege
    6. Capability as ability and incapability as disability
    7. The movement can make us capable; it can also render us incapable
  8. We Are Nowhere Without The Movement to Support Us