Another day, another doctor. This time, a visit to a new rheumatologist, or actually to the ambulatory care center at a nearby hospital to visit their team of rheumatologists and related doctors, fellows, nurses, and such.
I had the osteophyte (bone spur) on my coccyx (tail bone) manually manipulated (fucking moved by hand), which caused me to literally burst into tears. That\’s a new one on me; I haven\’t cried from pain in years, but I don\’t think I\’ve ever had a bone growth purposefully poked before, either, and the pain from that is not dissimilar to when my kneecap dislodges out of its socket and sticks there. So imagine that, but then happening in the crook of your ass, and not knowing that it could happen. It was fun. I want to do it every day, just to remember how much fun it is.
After all the manual examining, the doctor and the second year fellow injected the area over the osteophyte, and the area over one of my hips, with cortisone. My ass is now numb. Down into my left leg is now numb. I think I need to be spanked to celebrate the occasion, because I can\’t remember the last time my ass was this pain-free. It\’s incredible. I want to go play cowgirl on a bucking bronco, ride a bike, use a fucking machine, and do all the other things I haven\’t been able to do with my broken ass (maybe I should start with something simple, like sitting still at a desk for a few hours… nah).
Once injected, the doctor started moving my little bony growth around (I must ask formerly pseudo-sprog to name it; it needs a name; okay, I\’m calling her now to ask… damn, voice mail) and discovered that under the growth, the bones of my coccyx had grown a bursa in defense. So in actuality, I have two little growths, not just one.
Additionally, the doctor told me that at the hospital, they all work as a team. Now, my appointment wasn\’t with him. In fact, the doctor it was with was too busy to see me, so I saw another doctor, the second fellow. After she examined me, she wanted to consult with another doctor about the pain in my hips. She came back with the doctor who stayed for the rest of my appointment. He pretty much took over. He said that I preferred to get around the hospital\’s bureaucratic phone system and used e-mail with his patients. He then gave me his card, flipped it over, and wrote an e-mail address on the back. It\’s a hotmail address. He said if I had any questions or whatever, I shouldn\’t hesitate to contact him. His hospital e-mail address is on the front of his card. So… what\’s the chance here that he\’s trying to pick me up? I dunno. (Lack of appropriateness aside, I don\’t mind at all; but bearing in mind tendency to overreact, histrionic attitude of thinking most social outreach is sexual, etc.; and oh yeah, goddamn, I wanted to jump his bones right there in the exam room, yowza!)
