I\’ve got four more days to try and behave myself. It\’s harder than it sounds. Saturday night, and I\’m at home with my radio in an attempt to encourage good behavior. Granted, I\’m worn out and sore, but that hasn\’t stopped me from counting pennies this past week in order to get my ass out of the house.
Must stop accepting kindness from strangers and favors from friends that I cannot repay. Must stay at home and suck up the cold, eat the ramen, try to keep the brain from contemplating.
Do not think ahead. Do not remember yesterday. Wear blinders for now. Act dumb. Don\’t start caring yet; allow emotions to set in now and all hell will break loose. No questions, no queries, no worries. Just keep treading until the end of the month. Eventually, the phone will ring. Word will arrive. The wait will be over. I will have a place to live again soon. Financial situation will get sorted out and I will start classes again in January. Don\’t think positive; be positive.
I\’m too scared for words these days, which is why I am failing to utilize them.