I\’m finally waking up out of a month long nightmare. After spending four more days bed bound and literally sweating the sickness out of my system, yesterday I finally managed to make it through the day without feeling like I wanted to slaughter someone, namely myself, in a menstrual blood bath of terror. Let the clots fly. But no, now almost a week with the wrong meds out of my system and I am feeling much better, other than the usual exhaustion, pain in the butt, sore back, and raw throat, that is. Oh, and feet and hands that never warm up in this cold weather, and… nevermind, I am going to make myself feel worse. If I spell it all out it sounds like I do not feel better at all, when in fact, I feel reborn. Better than I have since my first day in Florida six weeks ago.
Six weeks move so fast when you\’re doing your damnedest to alternatively obliterate your past and your present, with no preference for which to do away with first. I used to suffer from near-sightedness and behave accordingly, but of late I have been suffering from far-sightedness and focusing too much on \”what if, when I\’m 64…\” with no thought as to \”right now, when I\’m 22,\” because the thought of being 64 and in a wheelchair in a rundown state funded nursing home was more comforting than the current physical pain I was feeling and unable to do anything about. That being said, I wish Biofreeze was public, or had a public parent company, because I would buy stocks in that shit in a heart beat. Fuck morphine. Biofreeze.
So the good news, which is a long list because it has taken a long time to accumulate and a lot of hard work:
– I am answering the phone, reading mail, and returning calls and messages again for the first time in weeks.
– I finally found a lawyer who will represent me in everything and it is only going to cost me $200 plus 20% of any final settlement.
– I am getting a service dog to help me be independent, which will take a lot of the burden off Will and help me physically as well as my self esteem.
– I am being put on the federally funded Social Security Disability Insurance program, which will give me access to Medicare, and therefore, treatment for my back other than waiting until surgery.
– I was finally given a case manager by my health care plan. Now someone other than myself will also be responsible for making sure all my doctors communicate with each other, that I don\’t get put on conflicting medicines, that all my paperwork goes through, and that all my treatments are working.
– I am finally going to be able to be a patient at the Johns Hopkins pain clinic, which is one of the best in the country.
– The pseudo-step sprog is coming for a week long visit in May for a class trip. Will is staying at the hotel as a chaperone, but I get to visit, which means that I get to see mini-me as well as have the new (yes, new) apartment in my clutches for a week of mega decoration and design.
– Will and I are FINALLY MOVING. It\’s a two bedroom 1100 sq feet apartment with a living room, kitchen, dining room, extended balcony, gym, pool, concierge, parking garage, a/c, and dishwasher, in the District in a non-gentrified area, and only a quarter block from the red line of the metro. Holy fucking shit. We\’re moving in May. We have also worked it out that once we move we\’ll be getting grocery delivery once a month and \”house\” (apartment?) cleaning service once a month as those things are two of the biggest things that wear my body down, and outsourcing is so cheap and it will keep me from getting sick, so it\’s a good deal.
So if any out of town folks want to visit a certain person for her birthday or any other time after June 1st, you now have the privacy of an extra bedroom in which to stay. HINT, MR. GRAVES AND MS. ELIZABETH, HINT.
Agent Relaxed, over and out.