Three more weeks until classes start. Two more weeks to finish the MOB site and Electronic ID. Who am I kidding? I could get both done in a week if I really pushed myself, but it\’s nice that I don\’t have to, and that I can focus on other things.

I\’m going back and forth with my doctors in the states and here in Oz to switch my meds — to drop the Effexor and Ambien for Modafinil, which I have been hearing nothing but good things about. I am, admittedly, reluctant to fuck with my medication while in the middle of anything of any vague importance, but that\’s unfortunately not very realistic. But, hey — that\’s life. There are no time outs, or at least, there aren\’t supposed to be.

All this free time has allowed me to do what I tried to do a few years ago — put together a list of every symptom and cross reference. There simply wasn\’t enough information available in 2002 to do much more than wastebasket diagnosis me. Now, there are all sorts of things that can be traced to the mothership, which is really encouraging and comforting. Despite the pessimisim, I still feel glad that modern medicine is finally making progress and recognizing a hell of a lot of things. Maybe ten years from now there will be an actual overall treatment plan. Until then, we pick and choose what we can and play human guinea pigs.

Next month I become eligible for FAFSA (federal financial aid for school), as the government considers anyone 24 and over to be independent, and anyone 23 and under to be dependent on their parents. There\’s very little way around that. My dad is self employed; for a variety of reasons, he hasn\’t filed current tax forms in quite a few years. As a result, neither of my two younger siblings were eligible for FAFSA, either. So I\’ve been biding my time. I don\’t know anything about the higher education system, financial aid, scholarships, or any of that jazz, and Dr. Maude is being driven batty by all my questions.

Even the application process overwhelms me. For example, I don\’t want to apply for any big schools (ie, somewhere that requires more than $1500 USD a year for tuition, books, and fees) if I can\’t get grants and scholarships to cover all of it, or at least 90% of it. I\’ve been way over my head in debt before and have already been through bankruptcy once due to being unable to keep my health together to pay off medical expenses. I really don\’t want to get stuck in that trap again, ever. But a lot of this financial aid stuff won\’t tell you what money they will give you until you have been accepted into a school — Catch 22. There is something called the Simplified Needs program which helps