If only I were kidding: The state took my dental away and gimp the girl goes to the silver screen

I went away for a holiday
Said I\’m gonna get away
But I never got there
No I never got my holiday
I never got there, or so they say

Ooo… ooo… ooo…

It has taken me this long, but I have finally figured out what it is that I can do. I don\’t know if it is what I need to do or what it is that I should do, but no else has any better ideas, and considering my physical and financial resources, this seems the best method. What does, you ask? The exploitatation of the current hot trend, of course. I have been documenting my heart out to a rabid fan base on the internet via words since 1999. WebTV may be dead, but reality television is more Energizer Bunny than ever. Say hello to gimp the girl, a new reality series on Discovery Health, starting next Autumn. At least that is the idea. But I need help.

I need a team to help me get together a proposal to send off to the producers. Having never done anything like this in my life, and this being my one stab (okay, there\’s also HBO, but I think Discovery Health would give it the spin I want it to have more than HBO would) as I just do not have the time, money, or health to put into a book. So here\’s the deal.

I\’m asking the following people for help on this, at least the proposal writing, because they have done one or more of the following:

A) written proposals for grants and received them,
B) written articles, reviews, vignettes, stories, or books that have been published and distributed by major publishers,
C) worked or volunteered for organizations or groups that have something to do with my identity,
D) aggressively exploited the who-knows-who value in life in order to get by (I\’ve been told this is how people get by in life and that\’s how one even makes friends — by saying, oh, you\’re a friend of so and so, and so am I, vaguely, so let\’s do lunch, and then ending up with a new lover or friend or job or whatever. I am so shy I am incapable or doing this in even the friends capacity so CALLING ALL ATTENTION/FRIENDSHIP/SOCIAL LADDER CLIMBER WHORES, I need you!),
E) encouraged me to beat the government, the social welfare system, the doctors, the diseases, and the social stigmas by exposing all the bullshit and advocating the hell out of awareness, recovery, equal rights and benefits, and rehabilitation instead of dependency.

That being said, I want the following people on my team, for one or more of the above reasons. , , , , , , , Will, Mark W., my family.

If I just dropped you like a hot nickel, the plan is to have organizing meetings. (And in the infamous words of Katy Otto \”Ew! Not another organizing meeting!\”) Food and bevvy of either the take away or home cooked kind will be provided. Meetings will be here at the apartment in Dupont Circle for ease of access. And then we (myself and whomever volunteers their time) will decide on a form of credit: co-pre-production, co-concept creation, whatever. I\’m lenient. And if for some strange reason you find that you like what you\’re doing AND the show gets picked up somewhere, we can cut a deal for you to keep a paying job on the show if the show\’s financiers will go for it. Hell, you know me — I\’d give you the coat off my back if I thought it would help, so anything I might be able to get for you that you want out of this, I will.

If I didn\’t name drop you, it\’s not that I don\’t love you, think that you don\’t love me, or think I couldn\’t exploit your talents(!) but it does mean that you don\’t live here in D.C. and therefore I have no way of getting you to the planning meetings. If you feel you could help though, feel free to drop a line or several thousand. Especially , seeing as you\’ve known me the longest and the best of anyone, anywhere, you might be able to provide some insight that others cannot.

I\’ll be putting the work in progress proposal on once there is more substance to it, so for those who are interested, you can watch the making of the real life television docu-comedic-drama unfold before it\’s actually made.

You may now return to your regularly scheduled cable programming. And yes, I really did lose my dental today.