The Disability and Sexuality Access Network

I thought I had found an answer to how to support myself in sex education and disability advocacy. Neither require a formal education (though they are very good to have and are definitely preferred by many people in those fields), I’m passionate about the topics, and I’ve self-taught myself a hell of a lot about them over the years. The conflux of the two interests and the experiences I had when I started in exploring those fields were what led me to the idea which evolved into the Disability and Sexuality Access Network.

My therapist has been pushing me to not do DASAN because I’m so overwhelmed by everything in my own life that adding DASAN to it has been too much. Since we officially launched, I haven’t been able to function the way I need to in my day to day life. I’ve ceased taking care of myself (eating, hygiene, and keeping my apartment clean have become gargantuan tasks that I rarely undertake) and I’m literally making myself crazy, or rather, making my crazy worse. I spent August through October in a major depressive episode (clinically diagnosed) and attended an Intensive Outpatient Program (therapy for 6 hours per day, 3 days per week) for most of Autumn.

And DASAN? DASAN as it currently exists is a pipe dream.

We need some fucking help, desperately

On my best days, I have about 4 hours of functional time. During those hours I have to do all of my medical things, self-care things, errands, and if I have any energy to spare, DASAN. I rarely have energy to spare.

I have ideas, plans, and moxie. But no money to fund those plans, no money to pay people to help those ideas come to fruition. Our grant wasn’t renewed this year. There hasn’t been any perceivable product of our labor, so I understand why folks are reluctant to donate to us or join our Patreon.

We have so much we want to offer, but we are struggling. I am struggling, but so are the other two people on DASAN’s team. I won’t tell their stories without their consent, so just take my word for it when I say that the three of us are drowning.

Why not ask for help outright? That is so complicated.

From The Personal to The Political: A Thought Process Regarding Worsening Disability And Activism

  1. A Medical Appointment (CN: Mentions of anatomy, medical conditions of sexual and pelvic organs, and medical procedures. No descriptions or details.)
  2. TMI: Sex (CN: Sex, anatomy, gender, psychology. Mentions of sexual trauma without descriptions or details.)
  3. Causation (CN: Mentions of anatomy, medical conditions of sexual organs, medical procedures, and medical trauma/neglect. No descriptions or details.)
    1. 2002: Pelvic pain origins
    2. 2011: Diagnosis and treatment of original injury
    3. 2013: Continued treatment
    4. 2018: Hysterectomy
    5. 2019: Diagnoses related to pelvic pain
  4. Feelings
  5. Developmental Years & Privilege
  6. Trying
    1. The Disability and Sexuality Access Network
    2. We Need Some Fucking Help, Desperately
  7. Asking for Help is Really Damn Complicated
    1. Labor and money are both forms of capital and we’re short on both
    2. Disposability politics
    3. Oppression olympics and privilege
    4. “Capability”
    5. Access as a privilege
    6. Capability as ability and incapability as disability
    7. The movement can make us capable; it can also render us incapable
  8. We Are Nowhere Without The Movement to Support Us